When you hear the term empathy most people can usually define it pretty easily. But did you know there are actually two different types of empathy? These two forms of empathy are referred to as cognitive empathy and emotional empathy. As one might guess, you need both types of empathy to be considered an empathetic and compassionate human being.
Cognitive empathy
When someone has cognitive empathy, they are able to understand what someone is going through. Even if you have cognitive empathy, that doesn’t mean you will necessarily have the knowledge or drive to help someone. You simply understand why another person might be feeling a certain way. This understanding is more logical than it is emotionally putting yourself in their shoes.
Emotional empathy
Emotional empathy can be described as being able to feel what someone else is going through. An example of this could be when someone is sad or crying and you cry along with them. If someone is emotionally empathetic, they have a general willingness to want to help others. They also understand how they can help others and what they can do to be helpful in various situations.
What does this mean?
In order to be fully empathetic, you really have to have both types of empathy. There are some exceptions to this. For example, sociopaths and narcissist have high levels of cognitive empathy but much lower levels of emotional empathy. While others may have high levels of emotional (or affective empathy) but low levels of cognitive empathy.
If you have too much empathy, you run the risk of feeling far too much and being overwhelmed. While having too little empathy can make you feel secluded and lonely. Like everything else in life, balance is the key when it comes to empathy. It’s important to remember that just because you were born with higher levels of one type of empathy doesn’t mean you will be that way forever. It is perfectly possible to grow your levels of both types of empathy.
When you are trying to be empathetic in relationships in your life, it’s important to not always be trying to listen to respond or fix the other person’s problem. Most of the time, you won’t be able to fix the situation for the person. Being empathetic is not about fixing, but rather understanding by using cognitive empathy and showing you understand by using emotional empathy.
Why does empathy matter? Empathy is the backbone of the human connection. It allows you to put yourself in another human’s shoes and to feel what they are feeling. Empathy is grieving with your loved ones even if you don’t personally know the person they lost. Empathy is feeling for someone that uses anger and destruction to mask past traumas. Practicing empathy is no easy feat. Being empathic forces us to dig deep within ourselves and be vulnerable with our feelings and others. Life with practicing empathy can be rewarding in so many ways. Life as an empathetic person isn’t always easy, but it will always be worth it.
References
Empathy Definition | What Is Empathy. (2020). Greater Good Magazine. UC Berkeley. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/empathy/definition
Hot to Help. (2020). Greater Good Magazine. UC Berkeley. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/hot_to_help
The Psychology of Emotional and Cognitive Empathy | Lesley University. (2020). Lesley.Edu. https://lesley.edu/article/the-psychology-of-emotional-and-cognitive-empathy
Clarke, J. (2020). Cognitive vs. Emotional Empathy. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/cognitive-and-emotional-empathy-4582389
