“A day spent judging another is a painful day. A day spent judging yourself is a painful day.”
Buddha

Judgement is something that we have all encountered at some point in our lives. We all also have felt how the judgment of others can hurt our feelings, and damage our self-esteem. Then why is it that we are often the most judgmental and critical of ourselves?

It is in our nature as humans to be judgmental. The information we gather in the first few moments of meeting a new person, or entering into a new environment can help to keep us safe. It is based in our inherent nature towards self-preservation. However, not all judgement is constructive or helpful. Our internal judgement of ourselves is based in our mindset, how we were raised, and our core values. Both internal and external judgement can be damaging, so here are a few ways we can combat the negativity.

1. Stop comparing yourself to others. When we are constantly comparing ourselves to others, we are opening up the doors to the feelings of not measuring up, or being better than. Remember that just because someone is different than you, that does not make them better or worse. Just different.

2. Be aware of your inner critic. Going back to basics, we know that thoughts are not facts. If your inner critic is judging you for doing, or not doing something, combat it with compassion and empathy for yourself. Try replacing the negative inner critic with a more positive or a more constructive one.

3. Change your perspective. Let’s say your inner critic often thinks “I’m so fat” when you look in the mirror. Think about how you would feel if someone else said that to you. Or how about how you would feel if you heard a mother say that to their daughter in a store. Not good, right? Then you probably shouldn’t say it to yourself. And if you do see someone passing those kinds of judgment, be the one to stand up and say “that’s not okay”.

4. Try to avoid making assumptions. Judgements are often based on assumptions. How often do we know all of the information before jumping to a conclusion?

5. Take a look inward External judgements are sometimes based on perceived shortcomings within ourselves. This is called projection. Acknowledging our own inner judgements can help to prevent us from projecting them onto those around us.

As always, if you can’t figure it out on your own, there are professionals (like us) to help guide you. You are still strong and valuable if you ask for help.