Confidence

Have you ever met someone who just emanated confidence with every fiber of their being? Or the opposite, have you ever met someone who was so full of self-doubt that you could feel it? Maybe you are one of these people, or maybe like the rest of us, you are somewhere in between. If you are looking ton increase your confidence or decrease your self-doubt it is important that you understand what confidence is, and where it comes from.

Confidence can come from many different aspects of life, including genetics, experiences, and misinformation, and It is estimated that anywhere from 25 to 50 percent of a person’s personality is inherited. Some people are genetically predisposition to low self-confidence based solely on the brain’s ability to create neurotransmitters such as Serotonin and Dopamine. Even race, culture, gender and sexual orientation can be a factor in self-confidence, as minority groups are more likely to be discriminated against. Life experiences such as trauma, abuse, parenting style and attachment style can all affect how you present yourself to the world. When discrimination or trauma occurs, people often internalize some of the negative messages that are thrown at them. Misinformation from anywhere can be detrimental to a person’s self-confidence.

If 25% to 50% of confidence is genetic, then we still have 50% to work with. Luckily, increasing self-confidence is something that we can learn. Research shows that one of the most important parts of confidence, is the concept of acceptance. According to Dr. Markway (2019), “The antidote to resistance is acceptance. Acceptance is a willingness to see reality without judgment. Acceptance does not equal approval. Acceptance does not mean you will not take appropriate action. Acceptance is not putting up with misery. Acceptance is the starting point for change”. When increasing self-confidence, it is important to accept both your strengths and your weaknesses. Once you have accepted your strengths, it is okay to celebrate them! Next, comes the acceptance of your weaknesses. When you are faced with a situation where your weaknesses are the focus, acceptance can be the difference between success and failure. Release the shame of your weakness, and don’t be afraid to let people know that you are not perfect. And as always, if you can’t figure it out on your own, there are professionals (like us) to help guide you. You are still strong and valuable if you ask for help.

Take this simple Confidence Quiz to help gauge where you stand with your self-confidence:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/shyness-is-nice/201810/how-confident-are-you-really