Sex positivity is used to identify those who “emphasize openness, nonjudgmental attitudes, freedom, and liberation about sexuality and sexual expression” (Donaghue, 2015).
Thinking from a sex-positive lens means that you view sex not as dirty, or sacrilegious, but as a normal, and potentially enjoyable part of life. Many people have not adopted a sex-positive framework, which often creates discomfort, shame or guilt when discussing issues that are sexual in nature.
If you come from a heteronormative, religious background, then you are likely familiar with this feeling. But sex should not be considered a bad thing. You are reading this because sex occurred. I am writing this because sex occurred. It is a normal, healthy, biological function and should be treated as such.
Sex-positivity has not only made its way into the fields of psychology and counseling, but is beginning to be utilized in sex education. Imagine learning in school, or from a parent that sex is not a scary or dangerous thing, but an enjoyable thing that should be done in a responsible manner.
Many school districts have been implementing Abstinence Only sex-education, which has been proven time and again to be ineffective (World Health Organization, 2006). We all know that teenagers are going to have sex, so why not educate them in a way that they can do it safely. An Abstinence Only curriculum does not prepare kids for something that they are eventually likely to engage in. It’s like teaching a Driver’s Education course to 5th graders, entitled “Diving Abstinence”, and announcing that we must abstain from driving until we have a license. When teenagers ultimately get that license, they are left unprepared, and uneducated on how to drive safely. That seems pretty silly, doesn’t it? So why are some people so against the idea of teaching sex education from a sex-positive framework?
If you have questions, want to process, or just want to talk candidly and openly about sex, or if you can’t figure it out on your own, there are professionals (like us) to help guide you. You are still strong and valuable if you ask for help.
References:
Burnes, T. R., Singh, A. A., & Witherspoon, R. G. (2017). Sex Positivity and Counseling Psychology: An Introduction to the Major Contribution.
The Counseling Psychologist, 45(4), 470–486. doi: 10.1177/0011000017710216
Donaghue, C. (2015). Sex outside the lines: Authentic sexuality in a sexually dysfunctional culture. Dallas, TX: Benbella Books
Katehakis, A. (2014, November 18). Sex Addiction as a Sex-Positive Concept. Retrieved from
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sex-lies-trauma/201411/sex-addiction-sex-positive-concept
Shpancer, N. (2016, April 5). Beyond Abstinence-Only: Sex Ed Should Be Sex Positive. Retrieved from
Tuckman, A. (2019, April 22). Conservatives Should Be Sex Positive. Retrieved from
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sex-matters/201904/conservatives-should-be-sex-positive
World Health Organization (2006). Defining sexual health: Report of a technical consultation on sexual health. Geneva, Switzerland: World Health Organization. Retrieved from http://www.who.int/reproductivehealth/topics/gender_rights/defining_sexual_health.pdf?ua=1
