Feeling like you’re to blame for every situation? Hearing things such as, “you’re the only one who thinks that” “you’re obsessive” “why do you care about this if no one else does?” If any of this sounds familiar to you, then you may be a victim of a term known as, Gaslighting. In this reading, we will look into the basics of the topic and what warning signs to be aware of.
What is Gaslighting?
According to MedicalNewsToday, gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where a person or group makes an individual question their sanity, perception of the truth, or memories. As a result, people who face this, often have trouble coming to terms with reality, and often enough, have a hard time trusting themselves.
A Little History:
This term originated from a 1944 play and film, Gaslight, which was a psychological suspense that involved a husband tricking his wife into thinking she was mentally ill, by dimming some gas-powered lights and telling her she is hallucinating.
Just like in this film, this trapping is a battle for control, between the manipulator and the victim; The manipulator often times wants emotional, financial, or physical control over the victim. It starts small, with lies about simple things.
Types of Gaslighting:
1. Countering Questioning someone’s memories. A person may imply that their victim doesn’t remember an event correctly and refer to their bad memory to dissuade them.
2. Withholding
Refusing to talk to someone. Firstly, an individual may pretend not to comprehend the other person so they don’t have to answer them. Examples of this include, “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” or “you’re confusing me.”
3. Trivializing
Invalidating someone’s feelings or in other words, making them think that their feelings or problems aren’t significant or important. In this situation, the victim may be belittled and be told that they are too sensitive or overreacting.
4. Denial This involves, pretending not to remember that something happened or denying that it happened at all. They may accuse their target of being delusional or of making things up.
5. Diverting The gaslighter, in this case, may change the course of the conversation by shifting the focus from the actual topic and questioning the credibility of their victim.
For example: Suggesting that the victim got their ideas from friends or other company they keep.
6. Stereotyping
This type enforces negative stereotypes about the person’s gender, race, or sexuality and use them to manipulate their victim. In other words, a man may discourage a woman from getting help by saying that people will think she’s unstable.
Common Instances:
Gaslighting can happen to anyone, however it commonly occurs in romantic relationships or social groups. Here are some examples,
- A partner may gaslight their significant other to make them think that they’re crazy and to make them easier to control.
- A parent or guardian may use it to shame and control their children by making them think that they remember events incorrectly.
- A doctor may disregard someone’s health concerns by saying that they’re simply mentally ill rather than paying attention to their health problems.
For more information on this topic, please visit our page. To preserve your mental health and well-being, if you are a victim of Gaslighting, it is important to understand the warning signs and have the ability to reach out for help from someone who can help you get through it.