Long Distance Relationships (LDRs) can be difficult to navigate, but they can also be just as rewarding as traditional relationships. According to a study in 2015, a group of 1000 long distance couples participated in a study to determine what made a long distance relationship successful. A few trends became evident throughout the study, here are the findings:
The role of stress
People who experience less stress are more satisfied in their long-distance relationships. Couples who experienced higher levels of anxiety and stress on a daily basis reported less satisfying long distance relationships. This would honestly probably be true in any relationship, but Dargie et al. (2015) were specifically focused on LDRs.
The role of distance
In this particular study, it became clear that the happier, more positive couples were actually further apart physically. This is possibly related to the idea that if a couple is far apart, they make sure to put effort into time together and overall intimacy. If a couple is closer, and able to see each other more frequently, they may put less effort into each individual meeting. (Dargie et al., 2015).
The role of communication
This really should be the number one, most important part of an LDR. When in a LDR, it is important to establish boundaries, expectations, communication styles, and commitment levels. In an LDR, these things become more important due to the distance. It can be more difficult to understand where a partner is coming from if you are not privy to the day-to-day minutia of their lives. If possible, set the expectations prior to physically separating, and re-evaluate periodically to make sure the original expectations are still the same for everyone.
Positive outlook
As difficult as it may be, try to maintain a positive attitude about the relationship. Think “absence makes the heart grow fonder”. You can learn so much about a partner when communication is the basis of the relationship. It helps to build emotional intimacy, which often leads to greater physical satisfaction as well. If you want someone to talk to, or if you can’t figure it out on your own, there are professionals (like us) to help guide you. You are still strong and valuable if you ask for help.
References:
Dargie, E., Blair, K. L., Goldfinger, C., & Pukall, C. F. (2015). Go Long! Predictors of positive relationship Outcomes in
long-distance dating relationships. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 41, 181-202.
DiDonato, T. (2016, September 20). How to Make Long-Distance Relationships Work. Retrieved from
Goldsmith, K., & Byers, E. S. (2018). Maintaining long-distance relationships: comparison to geographically close relationships.
Sexual and Relationship Therapy. doi: 10.1080/14681994.2018.1527027
Patrick, W. L. (2019, March 10). The Advantages of Long-Distance Relationships. Retrieved from