Are you the version of yourself that you have always wanted to be? Or are you a version of yourself that was formed, molded and shaped by those around you? Finding a strong sense of self can be difficult in a world that is constantly telling you what to do, who to be, what to look like, where to shop etc. Erik Erikson postulated that throughout life, each individual undergoes a series of eight psychosocial conflicts, each one helping the individual to become a more complete self. Erikson’s fifth stage, entitled “Identity vs. Confusion”, which he theorized occurred between ages 13 to 21, focuses on the individual developing who they are, and who they want to be; essentially their self-concept. At this point, success would be considered an individual who is able to make decisions, identify their values and beliefs, and stick to them when questioned. Erikson believed that if one did not achieve success at each level, then that person would be forever stuck in the phase, leading to a less successful sense of self, and feelings of inadequacy.
Another theory, developed by E. Tory Higgins in 1987, defines self-concept as an amalgam of three separate parts. The “actual” self is how you perceive yourself based on actual data. The “ideal” self is the version of you that you would be in an ideal world, or the version of yourself that you strive to be, and the “ought” self is the self that others want you or perceive you to be. Studies have shown that if there is a lack of congruence between your “actual” and “ideal” selves, there is a higher likelihood that you will develop depression. Developing an authentic sense of self often requires varying degrees of self-reflection, and introspection. Identifying which aspects of self are mismatched, and figuring out (sometimes with help) how to rectify the incongruence can help to increase the sense of self. A strong sense of self has been linked to an increase in self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence.
If you can’t figure it out on your own, there are professionals (like us) to help guide you. You are still strong and valuable if you ask for help.
References:
Erik Erikson’s Theory of Psychosocial Development (2019). Retrieved from https://www.psychologynoteshq.com/erikerikson/
Higgins, E. T. (1987). Self-Discrepancy: A Theory Relating Self and Affect. Psychological Review, 94(3), 319–340.
Retrieved from http://persweb.wabash.edu/facstaff/hortonr/articles for class/Higgins.pdf
Mason, T. B., Smith, K. E., Engwall, A., Lass, A., Mead, M., Sorby, M., … Wonderlich, S. (2019). Self-Discrepancy
Theory as a Transdiagnostic Framework: A Meta-Analysis of Self-Discrepancy and Psychopathology.
Psychological Bulletin, 145(4), 372–389. doi: 10.1037/bul0000186
Pillay, S. (2019, May 18). How Does Your “Sense of Self” Relate to Depression? Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/debunking-myths-the-mind/201905/how-does-your-sense-self-relate-depression